Monday, May 11, 2009

Recent Stuff

I've been bad about posting. Once again I've slipped into the easy immediacy of Facebook tweets, although most have ventured into 4 and 5 lines. Poor form on both accounts.

Anyway, last week was very tough--I was in a blue funk from one Saturday to the next. I think it might have had something to do with autocross results from April 26. I won that event. It was my first overall win, and the one person with whom I'd have liked to share that was Amanda. It took a week for the funk to set in because it took a week for results to get posted.

But it really knocked the wind out of me. I spent the whole week awash in sorrow. I just couldn't get myself to concentrate on or care about anything. I only shaved once, and the house devolved to squalor. It was bad. Alastair suffered, too: on Wednesday he hit his babysitter.

Several times throughout the week he asked me if I was going to cry, and usually the answer was "yes".

It probably didn't help that it rained almost constantly for 6 days.

But then we had a little bit of a turnaround with the purchase of a new t-ball setup. Alastair is really good at batting the ball off the tee, and we ran all around the yard being baseball men yesterday.

And I had another autocross yesterday, this time not doing nearly so well (11th place, out of 51), which meant I wasn't excited enough about my finish to want to call anybody.

So apparently playtime with Alastair and mediocrity are a recipe for happiness. It didn't hurt that we put a couple of pretty gals (race floozies) in the passenger seat of the Miata, either.

Note to future passengers: sun-dresses are lovely, but are not compatible with 6-point harnesses.

Anyway, there's a bunch of stuff on my immediate horizon, with two upcoming track events in the next month, a couple of autocrosses, the eventual sale of the MINI, Alastair's weekly class at The Little Gym (he's loving' it!), and a company picnic.

Should be enough to distract me from what would have been our 9th anniversary.

And then there's my investments in retail therapy. I've spent a considerable amount recently on revamping our digital entertainment options, mostly so that I can play racing sims late into the night.

But I bought the PS3 that Amanda had wanted to get for me, bought a racing seat for the den to attach my fancy Logitech G25 racing wheel, wired in a component video switch, the PS2, Amanda's old computer as a media-center PC, and used her monitor in the computer room to give myself a ridiculously over-developed PC for word-processing.

And I think I'll be calling to have the house trim & paneling replaced very soon. It's a project Amanda really wanted to tackle, since it looks old & worn, and the paint is peeling away from the gutters.

It's overhaul time.


Cindy said...

I thought maybe you'd like to read his blog, he lost his wife as well, and writes about how he's dealing as a single parent. He was actually on Oprah the week before and started a foundation for parents who have lost their spouse. Hang in there, I'm sure you have really tough days, and many prayers go out to you. You don't have to publish this, just wanted to share! Have a blessed day!

Megan said...

I'm so sorry for your struggle. Please know that you are not alone, and there many people, most of whom you will probably never meet who are holding you and your son up in prayer. I speak from experience, in time it does get easier. Hang on, you will make it.