Wednesday, March 16, 2005

I don't like what I do, so it's gonna change

Yup. The wheels are in motion -- so to speak. A broad new horizon is stretched out before me, and along with it comes a new opportunity to learn. I like learning. I like challenges. I don't think I've had much of either since 2001.

And I've been very lucky, recently. The advent of RiverCityMinis has brought me into contact with folks who've helped me shake the rust off. I feel youthful again. I feel excited about things. I've been more interested in life in general, and have found a focus that I thought was lost. I want to pick up my guitar in the afternoons, take walks, talk about cars, and research research research.

Unfortunately, the down-side to this is always the same. I remember it from when I got heavily into my band in college, when I started getting serious about Microsoft testing, and when I was going rock-climbing: my relationship with Amanda takes a big hit. The end result is that our relationship is not damaged, but often stronger than before. But the process just takes so much out of me, and I really short-change her. It's part of why I decided not to do any more Microsoft testing: it just sucked me dry, and consumed 100% of my time from when I got home in the afternoon until bed-time.

I hate myself when I get stuck on something, because of this, but I really get into a learning groove, and find that I can do leaps and bounds of progress during these spells. AND, though it might not be readily apparent to her, I really do appreciate how wonderful Amanda is, especially when I get like this. Every thought of her just lifts me up and seems to re-double my ability to absorb new data.

I love my wife, and I hope she never ever feels under-appreciated. I just have to figure out how to pull myself away from new projects.

Wow, that rant took a turn...

1 comment:

Manda said...

You do an excellent job of letting me know how much I mean to you. You are VERY appreciative! My greatest wish is for you to be happy with your life and not to come home at the end of the day downtrodden by the absurdities and frustrations of the cube farm.

Besides, at least one of us will be doing something they love, and that ain't half bad.

Love you bunches!