Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Unexpected

I was lying in bed last night after staying up way too late, as I am wont to do, and my mind was doing its usual refusal to spin down.  And, as usual, my thoughts went to Amanda, what I had with her, what I'll miss about her, and the things she'll never get to see.

But then something different happened.  While I was reminiscing about short walks around the halls of North 6 at MCV (Cletus the IV pole on one side and I on the other), I smiled.  I didn't get upset.  And then I realized that I was not upset, which usually undoes me.  But it didn't.

I was able to happily remember little moments of peace, serenity, and joy in the midst of all the pain.  That's a first.
Blogged with the Flock Browser

5 comments:

brite said...

And won't be the last good sir.Keep hanging in there.

Anna von Beaverplatz said...

Oh, it's so great when you can finally start to enjoy the memories. Wonderful.

Trail In Progress said...

Hey,

Good for you. Those moments are hopeful and will be more frequent.

I am currently reading "The Art of Racing in the Rain" by Garth Stein. Have you read it? or heard of it? It made me think of you, first because of Amanda and second because of racing.

Nicole said...

Buddy. That made me smile, and cry a little (happy tears). It's what Amanda would have wanted, I think.

melfroggy said...

I didn't know ya'll had named IV pole Cletus! That is awesome. Glad to hear you're doing better. Glad to hear Alastair is doing well too.