Wednesday, October 28, 2009


Know what I hate? When you tie one shoe just slightly tighter than the other. 'Cause then you feel like the other is too loose. Or maybe the first one's too tight, but your perception is all screwed up because comparatively it feels like the second one's about to fall off.

Consider the options:

1. You re-tie the looser shoe. By tying it as tight as the tighter shoe, do you inadvertently over-tighten both, making your feel feel cramped and sending you on a wild goose chase of tying and re-tying your shoes all day long until you give up and go barefoot?

2. You re-tie the tighter shoe. Great: now you have two loose shoes. Nice work, asshat.

3. Suffer silently, wondering when the looser shoe is going to fall off, or if your toes will shrivel and die on the tighter foot.

I've been going with Option 3 for the last 4 hours. It's misery, but I don't want to spend all day bent over my damned shoes. I bet you'd like to think velcro would make it easier, but you'd be wrong. It's infinitely more annoying with velcro, and adjusting will piss off all of your coworkers.

UPDATE: I have now re-tied the loose shoe twice, once way over-tightening it. Then I realized the whole imbalance was due to a wrinkle in my sock. I win at life.
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TK said...

I'd say you're insane, except that I suffer from the same affliction. Invariably, I end up just re-tying both shoes. Otherwise, I feel off-balance somehow.

This is officially the most mundane subject ever, and yet it occupies a surprising amount of my mental time.

Anna von Beaverplatz said...

Hahahahahahah! Nice. I'm calling oyu Sock Wrinkle from now on.

P.S. This is why I mainly wear slip-ons.

JamieSmitten said...

I've actually gone with option 4 on occasion. Undo both and start again. But usually I just suffer until something distracts me from the too tight foot concern. Usually a driver who swanned into my lane without indicating. Now that's pain.

thefunctionalweirdo said...

This is not a problem I have. MY problem is with my boots. Specifically, the insole material of my boots. It's all floppy and I haven't fixed it but I love the boots. So I smooth it out and attempt to keep it in place as I get my foot in there. Of course, this doesn't work, so it bunches up in the arch of my foot. Which I don't notice until I stand up and take 3 steps but by then I'm running late and I don't have time to sit down again and redo everything so I just have to go about my day feeling like my foot is being molested. HATE.
Actually, I'm sure I have the lace problem too, but I'm so distracted by the bunching.

Girl With Curious Hair said...

And you think your son has interesting habits?

chezjack said...