BP - first race in 2 months

There's something terrifying about returning to racing. It's something of a combination of a fear of crashing mixed with a fear of being caught out of form, but as I warmed up for last night's race, I could taste blood and feel that muted thwack of my face hitting the pavement just 40 days ago. Those completely mental sensations did nothing to allay my fears, and I was concerned that I'd be shuffled off the back within a few laps for being timid.

No reason for worry, though, as the race started casually enough for conversations at the back. In fact, it took almost 5 laps before I started seeing exotic heart-rate data, and several more before I started losing feeling in my hands.

Having watched the B race get ripped to shreds by a breakaway of 5 riders, I was not eager to see that repeated in the A race, and charged forward at about lap 7 from the back. Somehow I made it all the way to the front, and stayed right in the top group for about the next 6 laps or so. I chased every attack like an idiot, at one point jumping on 3 in rapid succession and nearly getting dropped off the back of the group.

With the lap-board winding down, I figured I'd see if I could either make it to the end or challenge for the final prime. When the bell rang with 5 laps to go, the group largely didn't respond. I sat in for half the lap, then sensing that nobody was running off after the prime, goosed it to the lead group, where N. Etheridge was sitting just clear of the front. Since I'd been able to eke out sprints against him last year, I went for it, but didn't have enough energy for a proper sprint.

We rounded the turn, he got out of the saddle, and I did my hardest seated sprint. I was gaining on him by inches, but rapidly running out of room, when out of nowhere a dude comes by on the right like we're both tied to a tree. From my perspective, he got us both well before the line, but the judges awarded them both the prime. Either way, my goose was COOKED. I sank like a stone and had to claw back on again.

With 3 laps to go, I'd regained just a touch of feeling in my fingers and moved forward again. I got to the front just in time for the pace to pick up for the final 2 laps, and by the time I came around to see "1" on the board, I had nothing. I'd made it 19 laps with the group, but was not going to be contending for the win, so I let it go. I wasn't sure if there was a chase, so I gave the last lap everything I had, but it was a sad solo roll to the end.

I'll get back in the game one day, but for now I'm just glad to have knocked some of the rust off, kept the bike upright, and stayed in it to the end.